
Being on the internet, Shout4Music doesn’t have a back page. But if it did, it might look a bit like this.
We’ve asked a bucket full of bands and an array of artists to answer our questions on life, the universe and everything.
Today’s the turn of Bernard Thresher from The Lancashire Hotpots. Read on to discover more about butchers with a sideline in mixtapes, God’s twitter account and Bernard’s love of all things alcoholic. And when you’ve done, check out Alan Ashton-Smith’s review of the band’s album, ‘Achtung Gravy‘.
What are you listening to right now?
Well, whilst I am composing my answers to this exam, I am listening to a mix CD made by my butcher. It’s a real mixed bag of spicy hits and cold cuts.
How did you get into music?
You don’t get into music, music gets into you, like a splinter but with less chance of infection. Music is the key to eternal happiness, especially when combined with seven cans and some kebab meat.
Tell us a joke.
Hang on, you’ve obviously not seen the act. Funny we ain’t.
Who do you follow religiously on Twitter?
God.
What have you been reading lately?
God’s Twitter.
Who is the most influential person in your life?
At the moment I would say it would have to be my parole officer.
Which song do you wish you had written?
To be serious for a moment… that’s enough of that. I wish I had written anything that had a minor level of chart success in the mainland UK and Europe so I can pay off the loan I took out to buy a porch, that’s right I said porch, not Porsche.
Does God exist?
If his Twitter is anything to go by, then yes. He regularly updates and he is a kind God. He will retweet summat if you ask him nicely.
We’re at the bar. What are you drinking?
It would be quicker to tell you what I’m not drinking. Get me anything that tops out at 6% ABV, is brown/black in colour and isn’t served in anything less than pint or pint bottle form.
Who would you dread getting stuck in a lift with?
Stacey Solomon, Kerry Katona, Katie Price, Ms Dynamite, Davina McCall or that scouse woman off ‘Shameless’. You wanna know why? You already know why, I don’t need to say it out loud/write it down.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
Drunk and I’ve done a ruddy good job so far.
What song will you have played at your funeral?
‘You’ by VAST. That’s not even a joke. Check it out, you’ll weep like a unwatered spider plant on a hot kitchen windowsill in a council flat.
What gigs, songs or albums are you promoting at the moment?
Our gigs, our songs and our albums. All of ‘em. Search The Lancashire Hotpots online, I haven’t got time to write it all in here. Oh and check out Titor’s Insignia. A hot young talent from Thatto Heath, these guys don’t mess about I can tell you.
How can we find out more about you?
Google, Wikipedia or come to a gig and ask us a question. To try and answer a few FAQ’s though here are some answers:
YES
Four times a week, five if I get a lie in.
I do.
Dickie ticker on the toilet.
We knew nothing about it.
Shopmobility Scooter, and finally;
As long as people are coming to shows and buying records, we’ll keep being idiots.
Ta ra!
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